I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
