I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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