TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
