the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Randomize
