Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Randomize
