is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
