Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Randomize
