Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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