he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
