Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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