She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Randomize
