Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Randomize
