Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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