Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
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