So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
