i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
