yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
