dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
