return my video game
Non-Jews are for practice
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Randomize
