i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Randomize
