Taylor Swift is so right about you.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
