I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
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