his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
