Christians are straight up FREAKS
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
