I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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