last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Randomize
