u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
