I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
