i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
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