uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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