So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Randomize
