I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
