this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Randomize
