I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
did i walk over a car last night?
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Randomize
