Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Randomize
