Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
