Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
