so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Randomize
