Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Randomize