idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
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