she looked like the before picture.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
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