I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
