i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Randomize
