Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
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