I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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