Please, let me fuck your mom
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Randomize