...so i touched it.
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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