i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I have tasted many bathrooms
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
