i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
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