Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Randomize
