I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
