Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Randomize
