Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Randomize
