I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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