so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
