Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
