he wants to bone in the snuggie
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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