a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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